Red Sonja
has gained such popularity and wide recognition as one of the iconic female
comics character, that one almost tends to forget that she was created by Roy
Thomas (based on a character by Howard from a completely different timeline
from the Hyborean Age) as a worthy female rival for Conan, the Barbarian (Conan
the Barbarian #23). Since their first encounter in the besieged city of
Makkalet , and the first hints of erotic attraction in “Song of Red Sonja” (Conan the Barbarian #24), each time
the two hyborean legends meet is an event that truly merits celebration, as it
usually adds to both character’s personality.
Dynamite/Dark
Horse’s crossover Red / Sonja Conan is the second time such meeting that happens
in 2015 after the mini-series Conan / Red Sonja, by scribes Gail
Simone and Jim Zub, and superlative art and covers by Dan Panosian. Despite the
Simone byline, Conan / Red Sonja was the best Sonja comic book I’ve read in a
long time, with good writing, excellent storytelling, compelling visuals and a
coherent plot, although I would bet Simone’s writing input was greater on
issues #3-4 than in the first two, as those were the ones where shaky writing
was more in evidence (I could be proved wrong). Those failings were most
obvious in the erotic relationship between the two heroes, as the newly
liberated and retconned Sonja, deprived of her ‘problematic’ origin story that
filled any advance towards a relationship with a darkly erotic tension, left no
room for any kind of tension or uncertainty as to any carnal relation, cheapening
it. This also makes painfully obvious the infantile way intercourse was denied
twice, something that had some meaning when Sonja couldn’t mate unless defeated
in combat, but cannot be accepted in a book that (one would hope) is no longer
targeted at children. (By the way, another
such instance occurs in this first issue of the second mini-series.) Despite
such shortcomings, it was a gripping story, chronicling the feud between Conan,
Sonja and the wizard Toth-Amon and his cancerous blood-root, at several
(canonic) stages of their lives.
Red Sonja / Conan picks up some time after the events
narrated in the previous series, and once more introduces the blood-root which
one was led to believe to have been extirpated from the world. As a way to circumvent
that small obstacle, writer Victor Gischler (X-Men; Deadpool; Conan:
The Phantoms of the Black Coast) takes us through a nine-years flashback
to the Kothian city of Enshophur, there to meet Kal’ang, “a mage of middling powers, commanding little respect” but about to
get his hands on some of the genocidal blood-root seeds. Behind this far from
awe-inspiring mage is an enigmatic blind seer, clearly a creature of greater
power, cunning and, above all, intelligent dissimulation.
Then we’re brought
back to the present, when Kush and Stygia are about to go to war, mainly
because Kush’s king fears an attack from Stygia. It is no surprise then, to
find that Kal’ang is now a small Stygian king, still as little deserving of
respect as he was before. In fact, maybe less than before, as Conan at one time
refers to him as “some hedge wizard. You
know how it is with these Stygians… every upstart mage thinks he can conquer
the world”. What may come as more of a surprise, is that Kal’ang doesn’t want
that war… at least for the moment, a fact that subtly and cleverly draws the
reader attention to the same blind seer that continues to counsel the mage king,
hinting at a true puppeteer running the show unseen.
It is at
Kush’s king’s camp that Conan and Sonja meet again, both captaining a company
of mercenaries, both pushed to fight each other for general command unaware of
the identity of their opponent (not a very convincing premise logic-wise, but
military logic is not a strong-point of this book, as is shown by the simplest way
Sonja and Conan debate strategy over beers, and how Gischler seems to believe you
can prime an army for battle with a few minutes warning time). Obviously, they
don’t get to fight one another, instead teaming against some discontent
mercenaries, in an impressive demonstration of Roberto Castro’s ability to
portray fluidity of movement.
Although I’ve
enjoyed Castro’s (Lords of Mars; Lord of the Jungle) art, I still
found it to unequal in this book, ranging from the mediocre (a panel where
Sonja seems to have but one leg) to the excellent (as is the case in the
referred fight). He is particularly inspired when drawing Kal’ang, transmitting
visually the suave malfeasance and self-importance of the mage. And I
particularly enjoy the way he draws Conan, which makes me think of a mix of the
better parts of Windsor-Smith and Buscema. And he clearly knows how to draw
feminine anatomy, which is always a plus when working on a Sonja book.
Obviously, for the fans of the original Red
Sonja (such as myself), the insurmountable moment of estrangement comes when
Conan, about to engage in a deserved threesome with two buxom wenches, is
surprised by Sonja waiting in his bed. “You’re more woman than an entire harem
of those wenches”, he tells her.
Obviously,
before they can consummate their sensual yearning, they are attacked by two
demon-warriors sent by Kal’ang to kill Conan and Sonja in an attempt to stay
the imminent attack by the Kushian forces. The monster’s attack, repelled by
the lovers-to-be, prompt them to anticipate the attack on Stygia, setting the
cliffhanger for issue #2. And yet, one is left to wonder:
What would
happen if Conan and Sonja really did
it? If they really ever got to make love? I guess one will never know, for the
entire Universe seems to be conspiring against such an event. In commercial
terms, it would really be unwise, as we’ve learned from countless examples in
the past: Superman and Lois Lane, John Steed and Mrs. Peel… the endless teasing,
the eternal will-they-won’t-they? is a lot more rewarding than the one-time-only
emotional peak of fulfillment. However, when Sonja had her vow never to fuck
anyone who haven’t bested her in a fair fight, there was a meta-diegetic
rationale that helped suspend the reader’s disbelief as to all the extraneous
circumstances that went to prevent the carnal union. But now, in this pasteurized
version of Sonja (or Horny Sandra, like our friend TheMightyFlip so
appropriately termed her), one is ever aware of how ridiculous it is that every
event of relevance to the plot would happen precisely when Conan and Sonja are
about to engage in lovemaking, and even before they remove a single piece of
clothing (or armor). It’s as if one is thrown back to the times of the Hollywood
Hays code.
